In the end, resignation and acceptance might hold the key to a happier life. I might just have to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't born gifted at any of the things I really love. I am beginning to believe I am absolutely ordinary- no special talents and no time left to foster any in the way they should have been culvitated in my early years.
A simple and peaciful life, though mediocre, deprived from anything extraordinary might be what I'll have to settle with: English seems to be the only thing I'm good at, therefore I might teach for a living., filling the empty spaces with small simple things that ordinary people somehow seem to get so much from, such as buying things, owning pets and maybe studying another language. I guess it's all I can do... I could take up knitting...
I'm not special... I'm just one more fish in these huge ocean of people who once wished but were not allowed to obtain. And the sooner I acquiesce the better...
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