Some words pt. I

Since fate took what I needed the most I find no reason to keep on being strong other than the fact that everyone expects me to. They have taken from me what I loved the most, so now I find it imposible to consider anything as lovable. It doesn't make sense at all... it will never make sense, it will never have an answer.

It takes so much effort for me to even consider that all of that was for the better... the mere thought fills my heart with anger... I understand that everyone finds consolation where they can, but I find none at all, anywhere... so I just have to pretend he never even existed... and that adds even more sadness to my moments of awareness, which are many and intolerable.

I could fall... I am so near my end. I always knew I would die young... now not only do I know it, but I'm sure of it and I am waiting for my time to come. I won't speed things up, I'll wait naturally for my end... and that's when I'll be full again. Once I lose my life and go wherever he is, I will regain what was so injustly taken from me.

I'm waiting for that moment in which we finally reunite... I don't know how long it will take, and since time seems to crawl when I'm alone, I'll have to find company anywhere... anything that makes time go faster is good enough for me. Anyone who wishes to use me is welcomed. I will use them in return; they will fill my time with their senseless being.